- Sulphur , Sodium and Phosphorous walks into a bar. What does the bar man says? OH SNaP
- —Guest Alsion
- Hey, are you made of copper and tellurium? 'Cause you're cute ;)
- —Guest Lola
- Are you full of beryllium, gold and titanium? cos you are Be Au Ti...full You're a mix of barium and beryllium , such a Ba Be
- —Guest Shanaynay
- A kid says to the teacher elements are really boron
- —Guest Loler
- Are you made up from Sulfur, Oxygen, and Nitrogen? cuz you look like my SON
- —Guest Son
- all the good chemistry jokes argon and ah the element of surprise
- —Guest kat
- Do you have 11 protons because you are sodium fine!!
- —Guest Veronica
- A while ago in my AP Chemistry class, this one annoying kid and my friend were having a weird argument about who was better. The annoying kid said, "Well, at least I have a girlfriend!" to which I responded, "Whatever. Your girlfriend has 67 protons." In response, the entire class, including the teacher, turned their heads to look at the periodic table on the wall. The element with 67 protons is holmium, with the chemical symbol "Ho." My teacher was the first to laugh.
- —Guest Pluto
- Boron, the Oxygen twins and Molybdenum set off a bomb: BOOM(o)
- —Guest carbon, hydrogen, erbium, erbium, sulfur
- Are you made of Beryllium, Gold, Titanium, Fluorine, and Aluminum? Because you are BEAUTIFAL
- —Guest LEXI
- Two chemists walk into a bar. One says to the bar tender, 'I'll have some H2O please.' The second said 'I'll have some H2O too.' They both received water because the bar tender wasn't irresponsible enough to serve hydrogen perixide as a drink.
- —Guest Leah
- What do you get when you mix Barium, Cobalt, and Nitrogen? BaCoN
The Sound of Music in the Lab
- What do you sing when you work with vitamin K? To the tune of "I Am 16 Going On 17" you sing, "Menadione Sodium Bisulfate sometimes called vitamin K, since Whitmoyer products came to your service throw all your cares away." And working with EDDI you can sing Ethylene Diamine Dihydriodide to the tune of "What Are We Going To Do About Maria"? And to Edelweiss, you can sing "Whitsyn'S', Whitsyn'S' for your chickens and turkeys, "Whitsyn'S', Whitsyn'S' for your chickens and turkeys. Just one part to a thousand helps prevent coccidiosis, Whitsyn'S', Whitsyn'S' for your chickens and turkeys." [Whitmoyer was a veterinary pharmaceutical manufacturer and they are no longer in business.]
- —Guest curtislmease
- Are you made of Copper and Tellurium because you are CuTe!
- —Guest Horrible Pickup Lines
- I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were together, and I was like OMg!
- —Guest Gossip Girl