From the article: Interpreting Statements in Scientific Papers
It's possible you might have to be an engineer to truly appreciate engineering jokes and humor, but if you get the jokes, they are certainly funny! Do you know an engineering joke or one-liner or are you looking for an engineering joke? Submit your joke or read engineering jokes added by other readers. Share Your Joke
Ill Advised
- A fire engineer,who could not speek arabic, was finding it difficult to market his newely invented fire extinguisher in the Arabian continent .He consulted an expert who advised him to use photographic symbols. Now he proceeded with a three stage demonstration photographs,namely (1)a car on fire , (2) a man fighting the fire with the device, then (3) a clean car. Meanwhile the arabs read from right to the left, so they avoided the devise completely.
- —Guest Adesanya adebolu
Advances and details
- A young damsel was asked why she would not marry either of her engineer or lawyer boyfriends. She replied' the engineers make advances and add no detail , the lawyers argue details and make no advance'.
- —Guest Adesanya adebolu
John S
- An engineer is someone who uese a slide rule to multiply two by two; gets an answer of 3.99 and calls it 4 to the nearest significant figure
- —Guest John S
Lightbulbs
- How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They wouldn't do it. It's a hardware problem.
- —streeeeetch
Chemical Engineer vs Chemist
- What's the difference between a chemical engineer and a chemist? Answer: about $50k a year
- —Guest Chemmy
Chemical Engineer and Chemist
- What's the difference between a chemical engineer and a chemist? A chemical engineer does for profit what a chemist does for fun.
- —Guest SciGuy
Wife or Mistress?
- An architect, artist and engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with their wives or mistresses. The architect said "I like spending time with my wife building a firm foundation of a marriage." The artist said "I enjoy the time I spend with my mistress because of all the passion and energy." The engineer said "I enjoy both. If you have a wife and a mistress, both women think you are with the other so you can go to work get more done"
- —Guest Bazza201
MechE and CivE extra info
- The Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers post below can add Chemical Engineers as engineers that build targets that explode really well.
- —Guest ChemE Dude
Engineering Joke
- A girl asked her boy friend, an engineer, "Don't you want to see where i was operated upon for appendicitis?".The engineer replied "Oh, i hate to see a hospital".
- —Vijaynathan
Definition of an Engineer
- What is the definition of an engineer? Answer: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.
- —gemdragon
It takes one to know one.
- Engineer and Mathematician (males) were given the opportunity to compete for a very attractive woman. But there was one condition: "You can only run half the remaining distance between you and the lady". Eng. sprinted forward while Math. didn't. Why aren't you running? Asked members of the Committee. Because, by definition, I will never be allowed to reach my target. And you Eng. why are you running? Don't you know the same? Yes, said Eng. my learned friend is correct. But I will get close enough for all practical purposes.
- —Guest Mr. Murphy
A little risque...
- An engineering major sees classmate riding up on a new bike and asks when he got it. "I was walking back from the computer lab when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen rode up on this bike, stopped, took all her clothes off and said to me 'Take what you want!'" "Good choice," the friend replies. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
- —Guest Matt
EE Humor
- I keep trying to find a phone number in Atlanta, but all the websites keep returning "Not Found" errors. (Explanation: The area code for Atlanta is 404 as in HTTP 404, the error code for "File Not Found")
- —Guest Software Engineer
Your College Degree Joke
- A graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like an apple pie with that?"
- —Guest Engineer
Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers
- What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets.
- —Mr. MechEng
Engineers and Glasses
- The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be.
- —Guest Azareal
