From the article: Interpreting Statements in Scientific Papers
It's possible you might have to be an engineer to truly appreciate engineering jokes and humor, but if you get the jokes, they are certainly funny! Do you know an engineering joke or one-liner or are you looking for an engineering joke? Submit your joke or read engineering jokes added by other readers. Share Your Joke
engineer in hell
- An engineer was mistakingly thrown to hell. On getting there, he notice dat things wasn't comfortable for him. So he made some changes like installing air conditioning, and all that. So God call Satan on phone and said 'how is hell over there?' and he said 'hell is fine, infact I have been enjoying dis engineer u sent to me, he has make a lots of changes here.' and God said 'no it was a mistake, send him here' but Satan refuse saying 'no, i won't, i love having engines on board'.
- —Guest olatunji yinkka
poem dedicated to engineers....
- ENGINEER BORN TO DIE. (must read) A heart touching poem by an engineering student....... If i die in a exam zone, Box me up & send my home, Put my papers on my chest, And tell my mother i did my best Tell my dad not to bow, He will not get tension from me now, Tell my brother to study perfectly, Keys of my bike will be his permanently, Tell my sister don't be upset, Her brother will not rise after this sunset, Don't tell my friends they are hearties, And start to for parties, And tell my love not to cry, "BECAUSE ... I'M ENGINEER BORN TO DIE."
- —Guest amanndeep singh
- ******************************* ***** What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets. ******************************* *****
- —Guest amann
Light Bulb Change
- How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, they never figured it out.
- —Guest Jack Daniels
- 3 men were about to be put into the guitine(obviously one at a time). two of the three men were Christian, and the last was an engineer. the first person to go up was one of the Christians, made a last request, to face upward towards god. they allowed it and pulled the lever. the blade came down, but stopped an inch before cutting his head off. the other Christian was next and he made the same request, and the same thing happened. last was the engineer. he said, "you know what? why not?" and he also faced upward towards god. right before they pulled the lever, the engineer said "oh, I see the problem"
- —Guest gggc13
Two Engineers on a Date
- Two engineers were on a date at a swimming pool. They are sitting on the end of a diving board when the guy says to the girl, "I think we're having a moment." The girl looks to the guy and says, "We'd make a great couple."
- —Guest Seth
Even the Donkey cried.
- Once a King wanted to get his daughter married in the old swayamvara style. The princess posted a challenge that she would marry any one who makes her donkey cry with out hurting it. Many eligible princes from neighboring states came and tried their best (magic, poojas, sounds and tricks) to make the donkey cry. The donkey did not cry. Days passed, no result. Finally one young boy came from a far away village. He also went to the donkey. Every one laughed at him.. But still, he went ahead and murmured some thing into the donkeys ears. Immediately the donkey started weeping. The prince was happy and she married the young boy. After the grand marriage, the King asked the boy what he did to make the donkey cry. He replied. Nothing. I only told the donkey that I am a maintenance engineer. The donkey cried because he understood my pathetic condition as a maintenance engineer which is a thankless job. Still worse than a donkeys life.
An engineer and relationship
- Once, an engineer told a girl: ENG: i wanna make a relationship with you... GIRL:Ok. But no sex. Cause i'm preserving it for my husband. ENG: ok. Then i also have a condition. You can't spend my money. GIRL:why? ENG: cause i'm preserving it for my wife...... Girl sucks and engineer rocks.....
- —Guest Provakar Mondol
- Did you hear about the constipated engineer? - He worked it out with a pencil
- —Guest Tommy
- Engineers do not believe in luck nearly as much as they rely on it.
- —Guest Urix
- An optimist sees the glass half full. A pessimist sees the glass half empty. An engineer sees a glass twice as big as it needs to be.
- —Guest Brooks P.
Engineers are like Slinky's
- Both aren't good for much but they are sure fun to push down the stairs.
- —Guest Mark
- A Engineer gets home from work and sees a note on the fridge from his wife. "This isn't working, I'm at my moms". he opens the fridge and checks the light, then grabs a beer and feels it cold. The engineer thinks to himself. "The fridge works fine"
- —Guest Guest Engineer
An Engineer And A Lawyer
- An engineer and a lawyer attended an interview separately. The Engineer was asked: If ten men cleared one hecter of land in ten hours how many hours would five men require to clear the same piece of land? The engineer answered: If ten men cleared one hecter for ten hours ,then one man would re quire 10 X 10 hours. Therefore five men would require 10x10 divided by 5 i.e 20hours. The lawyer was asked the same question and he answered: If ten men cleared one hecter of land for ten hours , then there would be no piece of land for any man to clear. Therefore five men would require zero hour.
- —Guest Adesanya adebolu
- A fire engineer,who could not speek arabic, was finding it difficult to market his newely invented fire extinguisher in the Arabian continent .He consulted an expert who advised him to use photographic symbols. Now he proceeded with a three stage demonstration photographs,namely (1)a car on fire , (2) a man fighting the fire with the device, then (3) a clean car. Meanwhile the arabs read from right to the left, so they avoided the devise completely.
- —Guest Adesanya adebolu
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