From the article: Interpreting Statements in Scientific Papers
It's possible you might have to be an engineer to truly appreciate engineering jokes and humor, but if you get the jokes, they are certainly funny! Do you know an engineering joke or one-liner or are you looking for an engineering joke? Submit your joke or read engineering jokes added by other readers. Share Your Joke
- Are you made of copper(Cu) & Tellurium(Te) 'coz you are CUTE... Is how chemical engineers flirt..
- —Guest tlhouvum
- What caused the mechanical engineer to strain his brain? ........... Too much stress!
- —Guest Lizzie
- Engineering students survive on a hybrid form of sarcasm, apathy, and empathy. As well as liquid Autodesk data.
- —Guest ProjectLeadTheWaySlave
Who came first? The argument
- The two oldest types of engineering are civil and mechanical, but which is the oldest? It is said that civil engineers designed the road, but mechanical designed the wheel. Civil engineers argue that they were first and mechanical then designed the wheel to use on the Civil's road. But, Mechanical argues that civil designed to road in order to use Mechanical's wheel. So which came first? Civil with the road? Or Mechanical with the wheel?
- —Guest BoredEngineer
Haaaa ha ha
- Do you have any sodium, bromine, and oxygen on you? A: Na BrO
- —Guest Sourabh Kumar Joshi
- What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities.
- —Guest auto engineer
engineer in hell
- An engineer was mistakingly thrown to hell. On getting there, he notice dat things wasn't comfortable for him. So he made some changes like installing air conditioning, and all that. So God call Satan on phone and said 'how is hell over there?' and he said 'hell is fine, infact I have been enjoying dis engineer u sent to me, he has make a lots of changes here.' and God said 'no it was a mistake, send him here' but Satan refuse saying 'no, i won't, i love having engines on board'.
- —Guest olatunji yinkka
poem dedicated to engineers....
- ENGINEER BORN TO DIE. (must read) A heart touching poem by an engineering student....... If i die in a exam zone, Box me up & send my home, Put my papers on my chest, And tell my mother i did my best Tell my dad not to bow, He will not get tension from me now, Tell my brother to study perfectly, Keys of my bike will be his permanently, Tell my sister don't be upset, Her brother will not rise after this sunset, Don't tell my friends they are hearties, And start to for parties, And tell my love not to cry, "BECAUSE ... I'M ENGINEER BORN TO DIE."
- —Guest amanndeep singh
- ******************************* ***** What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets. ******************************* *****
- —Guest amann
Light Bulb Change
- How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, they never figured it out.
- —Guest Jack Daniels
- 3 men were about to be put into the guitine(obviously one at a time). two of the three men were Christian, and the last was an engineer. the first person to go up was one of the Christians, made a last request, to face upward towards god. they allowed it and pulled the lever. the blade came down, but stopped an inch before cutting his head off. the other Christian was next and he made the same request, and the same thing happened. last was the engineer. he said, "you know what? why not?" and he also faced upward towards god. right before they pulled the lever, the engineer said "oh, I see the problem"
- —Guest gggc13
Two Engineers on a Date
- Two engineers were on a date at a swimming pool. They are sitting on the end of a diving board when the guy says to the girl, "I think we're having a moment." The girl looks to the guy and says, "We'd make a great couple."
- —Guest Seth
Even the Donkey cried.
- Once a King wanted to get his daughter married in the old swayamvara style. The princess posted a challenge that she would marry any one who makes her donkey cry with out hurting it. Many eligible princes from neighboring states came and tried their best (magic, poojas, sounds and tricks) to make the donkey cry. The donkey did not cry. Days passed, no result. Finally one young boy came from a far away village. He also went to the donkey. Every one laughed at him.. But still, he went ahead and murmured some thing into the donkeys ears. Immediately the donkey started weeping. The prince was happy and she married the young boy. After the grand marriage, the King asked the boy what he did to make the donkey cry. He replied. Nothing. I only told the donkey that I am a maintenance engineer. The donkey cried because he understood my pathetic condition as a maintenance engineer which is a thankless job. Still worse than a donkeys life.
An engineer and relationship
- Once, an engineer told a girl: ENG: i wanna make a relationship with you... GIRL:Ok. But no sex. Cause i'm preserving it for my husband. ENG: ok. Then i also have a condition. You can't spend my money. GIRL:why? ENG: cause i'm preserving it for my wife...... Girl sucks and engineer rocks.....
- —Guest Provakar Mondol
- Did you hear about the constipated engineer? - He worked it out with a pencil
- —Guest Tommy
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