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Readers Respond: Chemistry Jokes

Responses: 123

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Joke

This joke is sodium funny...I slapped my neon that one :)
—Guest Em

Joke; Pick-up line

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution! Here is a pick-up line: You must be copper and tellurium cause you sure are CuTe! tehee
—Guest Electronegative Nancy

Insults

He was a boron; he couldn't even follow the octet rule. He had a solid network but wasn't a diamond. To a chemist only six states matter.
—Guest e^x

drinking

A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, 'for you, no charge.'
—Guest andrew

funniest chemistry joke ever

whats the difference between cooking and chemistry? in chemistry you cant lick the spoon.
—Guest helium

Where are the jokes?

All of the good chemistry jokes argon now... (Argon is an element on the periodic table of the elements)
—Guest OrgoChem37

James Bond

In the world of chemicals, a constant battle rages between the chemical supervillains and the chemical super agents. The most esteemed of these is one (OO)7, international dyeing agent of mystery. On one particularly hairy mission, he finds himself pitted against the evil genius of lore, Dr. Nitrogen Monoxide, who has set a devious trap in the form of an ordinary piece of white cloth. After falling through a cleverly placed mechanosensitive membrane protein, (OO)7 is shocked to find himself soaking in to a tightly bound mesh of cotton fibers. (He is, after all, a dyeing agent.) In desperation, he calls to his nemesis, "Do you expect me to talk, NO?" The villain only chuckles maniacally. "No Mr. Dye, I expect you to bond."
—Guest Argo

the noble gases

The noble gases walk into a bar. No one reacts. (ba-dum tss!)
—Guest Brain made of Boron

Wanted

Wanted by the Law: Schrodinger's Cat, Dead And/Or Alive
—Guest Sheriff

Acid

Billy was a chemist's son, but Billy is no more; what he thought was H2O was H2SO4!
—Guest Anonymous

Jokes

: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? A: Pull down its genes.
—Guest hifolks

...

schrodinger's cat walks into a bar ........................................... and doesn't. :)
—Guest ...

Mass

Do these protons make my mass look big? (it's really only funny if you get it the second you read it...)
—Guest Regirl

joke

what comes out when you breathe out 2 helium's? - HeHe
—Guest Big Daddy G

Take a Ne

When a reaction pauses, Ne is a good sport, he puts his neon the ground
—Guest Dturi

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