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Readers Respond: Chemistry Jokes

Responses: 128


Hey, Chemistry Cat

Random Person: Why do you react violently when we put you in H20? Chemistry Cat: Because my race contains iron, lithium and neon = FeLiNe origins.
—Guest aistrftw@gmail.com

Ground State

Why do hamburgers have lower energy than steak? Because it's in a ground state.
—Guest Alex P.

Two men walk into a bar...

First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died
—Guest Bar Tender


I zinc we are done because all the good jokes argon!
—Guest j-mamma

crazy atom

The atom asks the electron why are you small the electron replys because I have a low charge!
—Guest riley


This joke is sodium funny...I slapped my neon that one :)
—Guest Em

Joke; Pick-up line

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution! Here is a pick-up line: You must be copper and tellurium cause you sure are CuTe! tehee
—Guest Electronegative Nancy


He was a boron; he couldn't even follow the octet rule. He had a solid network but wasn't a diamond. To a chemist only six states matter.
—Guest e^x


A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, 'for you, no charge.'
—Guest andrew

funniest chemistry joke ever

whats the difference between cooking and chemistry? in chemistry you cant lick the spoon.
—Guest helium

Where are the jokes?

All of the good chemistry jokes argon now... (Argon is an element on the periodic table of the elements)
—Guest OrgoChem37

James Bond

In the world of chemicals, a constant battle rages between the chemical supervillains and the chemical super agents. The most esteemed of these is one (OO)7, international dyeing agent of mystery. On one particularly hairy mission, he finds himself pitted against the evil genius of lore, Dr. Nitrogen Monoxide, who has set a devious trap in the form of an ordinary piece of white cloth. After falling through a cleverly placed mechanosensitive membrane protein, (OO)7 is shocked to find himself soaking in to a tightly bound mesh of cotton fibers. (He is, after all, a dyeing agent.) In desperation, he calls to his nemesis, "Do you expect me to talk, NO?" The villain only chuckles maniacally. "No Mr. Dye, I expect you to bond."
—Guest Argo

the noble gases

The noble gases walk into a bar. No one reacts. (ba-dum tss!)
—Guest Brain made of Boron


Wanted by the Law: Schrodinger's Cat, Dead And/Or Alive
—Guest Sheriff


Billy was a chemist's son, but Billy is no more; what he thought was H2O was H2SO4!
—Guest Anonymous
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